


Don’t Think Twice

by fletchfeathers



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Eleir'Than, Hurt/Comfort, Other, aka my FORTE, sign squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 11:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18249077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fletchfeathers/pseuds/fletchfeathers
Summary: Endymion pours two steaming mugs of coffee, breathes in the sharp smell of it, and smiles as he takes in the view.Because this - this is all he’s ever wanted. A little cottage in the back of beyond, a couple of animals, and someone to share it all with.





	Don’t Think Twice

Endymion wakes, slowly and easily, to the feeling of a cat purring on his chest, the love of his life tucked under his arm with his head on his chest, and a shaft of early autumn sunlight slanting through the space between their curtains.

Something in his chest feels as though it's glowing, warm and bright and impossibly soft, as he slowly blinks away the remnants of a dream he is already forgetting. Beside the bed, Selene, his spectral fox, yawns and stretches, shakes out her silver fur and climbs up to burrow into what little space in the bed remains.

The cat – an old ginger tom named Boots on account of his white paws, whose mouse-hunting days are long past and who is almost as deaf as Endymion, but who more than makes up for it with his boundless affection – comes to push his head up under Endymion's chin, purring like a forge as he rubs up happily against him, and Endymion obliges him with gentle scratches behind one slightly tattered ear.

Beside him, Evander wakes just as slow and easy, stretching his own long, slender limbs before folding a little closer against Endymion with a sleep-soft smile.

"Mornin', sweetheart," Endymion murmurs, dropping a kiss into Evander's dark curls, and Evander hums contentedly against him, draping an arm across Endymion's chest.

"Hey, handsome," Evander says, peeking up at Endymion with his gorgeous, honey-gold eyes. Endymion kisses his forehead once, twice, breathing in the sweet smell of him, still idly petting Boots with his free hand as the room grows steadily brighter with the morning sun.

Eventually, Endymion manages to haul himself out of bed to go and start brewing some coffee for the two of them, drizzling a little oil in a pan to start cooking some breakfast. Outside the kitchen window, the hills - just beginning to turn golden with fallen leaves - seem to roll on forever, and their four chickens are contentedly pecking around the yard for seeds.

Endymion pours two steaming mugs of coffee, breathes in the sharp smell of it, and smiles as he takes in the view.

Because this - this is all he’s ever wanted. A little cottage in the back of beyond, a couple of animals, and someone to share it all with.

It finally feels real, in this moment. Like everything has settled into place just right.

Evander is soon drawn from their bedroom at the smell of coffee, rubbing his sleepy eyes and slinging his arms around Endymion from behind, nuzzling softly into the rough stubble on his neck.

Endymion turns to hold his husband close, tilting up his head to scatter his pretty face with kisses and smiling as Evander laughs in his arms, before Evander looks up at him a little shyly and pulls his hands free to sign to Endymion.

 _I was thinking_ , he signs - some of his movements are still a little slow and unsure but Endymion doesn’t mind, Evander is learning to sign for him and that’s all that could ever matter - _I think … I want to have kids with you._

Endymion can’t help it - he gasps, and he feels Evander stiffen a little in his arms. But Endymion gently brushes a loose curl from his face, feeling his cheeks already start to ache from the smile that blooms across his face, and kisses Evander, sweet and slow, until he relaxes.

“I would love that,” Endymion says, a little breathless with excitement. “Evander, I - I would love that.”

And now it’s Evander’s turn to beam back at him, nudging his nose gently against Endymion’s and kissing him again, before picking up his mug of coffee and leaning gently against his shoulder, watching the chickens out in the yard.

At some point during that lovely, golden moment, Endymion cracks two eggs into the pan and carefully lays some bacon beside them. He watches them as they sizzle, the delicious smell wafting around their kitchen, and Evander smiles as he takes his first sip of his coffee.

 _Yeah,_ Endymion thinks. This is all he could ever want.

Which is why he's confused when the scene suddenly shifts, the sky outside growing dark with heavy clouds and the ground turning white and cold.

When he turns to look at Evander to ask if he's seeing this, the house is empty and dark, and one of the windows blows open with a blast of bitter cold and a flurry of snow.

His chest tightens with a sudden bolt of fear, and he calls out for Evander, for Boots, for Selene, forcing his legs to carry him to the living room so he can close the window, maybe light a fire, see where Evander disappeared to -

But all he sees in the living room is his spectral fox, contorted in agony as her skin and fur slough away from her back, leaving only sharp white bones in its wake; and she screams as she sees Endymion, trying to claw her way to him even as mushrooms start to push their way through her right eye.

And Evander – Evander is gone, and it's his _fault_ , he couldn't do enough - and he can't move, can't breathe, feels his wings tearing open his back as they burn, the once beautiful silver feathers turning to ash around him –

Until he bolts awake in his bedroll, his chest heaving as he gulps down air. Ril crouches over him with a hand on his shoulder, her brows furrowed a little as she pushes some of her white hair out of her face.

_You okay? You were talking in your sleep and thrashing around and I'm on watch anyway so I thought I'd check._

The Drow's hands flash through the gestures as quickly as they always do, but Endymion can't find the words, verbal or sign, to respond, still just trying to catch his breath.

Ril just frowns for a moment, then sits cross legged beside him, watching him steadily with sharp azure eyes before she tentatively reaches over to rub his back, sighing through her nose.

Eventually, the nightmare releases its hold on Endymion, and he takes a final steadying breath as he returns Ril's gaze, trying to force a gentle smile at her.

 _Thank you,_ he signs, though he can feel his hands shaking. _I'm sorry if I disturbed -_

But Ril shuffles forward to put both her hands over Endymion's, gently pushing them down into his lap, and Endymion doesn't resist. She doesn't say anything for a moment, studying his face carefully, and Endymion feels profoundly vulnerable in the face of it, as though she might be able to see everything that just happened in his head.

But then she nods, getting back to her feet and dusting a little dirt off of the leather greaves she's kept on for her watch.

 _Don't be sorry. Just – you're okay. Good. I'm glad,_ she signs quickly, going back to sit on the rock she'd been perched on beside the final dying embers of the campfire, picking up one of her knives from where she'd left it along with the cloth she'd been using to clean the blade.

Now that she's not looking at him, Endymion feels his shoulders slump forward, and he scrubs a hand down his face and through the scruffy stubble on his chin. Beside him, Selene watches with her one luminous white eye, before she climbs into his lap and curls into a tight ball.

He hasn't had that dream in a while, and he knows his link with her meant she probably had the same one. He reaches down to scratch behind Selene's ear, and glances briefly back at Ril.

He sees the flash of her blade as she scrubs at it, impatient even with that – but he also sees the careful tilt of her head back towards him, ever so slightly, and the tip of one of her long ears twitches just a little in his direction.

Endymion smiles despite himself, warm fondness settling in the cold space the nightmare had left.

_I want to have kids with you._

The words fill Endymion with a deep, desperate ache, one that seems to hang from his lungs the longer he lingers on it – because Evander would've adored Ril.

The thought catches him off guard, if only because of just how hard it manages to hit him. His chest heaves with a sob before he can stop it, and Ril's head snaps around to him immediately as he draws his knees up to his chest, Selene wriggling up against his shoulder to rest against him.

He barely notices Ril scrambling over again, practically skidding to a halt next to him, and then looking a little lost once she's actually beside him, uncertain of how to proceed. Endymion wipes his eyes on the back of his arm, trying again to smile at Ril, but Ril makes a face – well, from what little of her face she can see that her scarf doesn't cover – and kneels down next to him, pulling him into a slightly pointy hug. Endymion startles a little at the gesture, enough that it snaps him out of his tears, and when Ril pulls away she grins, lightly punching at his shoulder.

 _I knew that'd do it! I am a genius, no need to thank me,_ she signs, looking incredibly proud of herself, and Endymion honestly  can't help but laugh, pulling her back into a hug of his own.

"Thank you," he says, out loud this time. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Ril waves a hand in a _don't mention it_ gesture, although when Endymion lets her go the tips of her ears are a little pinker than they were just now.

 _You should hang out with me for the rest of my watch if you're not going back to sleep,_ she signs. _It'll be fun. I saw some rabbits earlier and then a fox, so I don't think we'll see the rabbits again, but maybe we'll see an owl or something else cool, I don't know. Or just come hang out because you love me._

Endymion smiles as her hands fly through the shapes and gestures, then nods, stretching and getting to his feet.

 _That sounds good to me,_ he signs back, and watches as Ril's eyes crease in the corners with a grin, following her back to the campfire. He takes a deep breath of the cool night air and exhales, watching the steam curl away into the darkness, and perches beside Ril as she goes back to cleaning her dagger - slower, now, and more carefully, more relaxed.

Things are so different now, being part of the Silver Hand and everything that entails. It's not the life he ever thought he'd lead.

But it's good, he realises.

For the first time in a long time, it’s good.

**Author's Note:**

> one day i’ll write something that’s not SAD but today is not that day SOZ


End file.
